so I have never been a “fear of the blank page” person. I always have too many ideas and not enough time or money. but here I have time, and I’m doing ok on the money, so why the writer’s block? it’s a performance anxiety more than anything. how do you keep persuading yourself you’re as clever as you think you are in order to finish a thing?

I got a ping to send over a UX portfolio and a cover letter for a job this week. I loathe working, and don’t really see anything much redeemable about working in tech, but the recruiter was nice, the product isn’t awful, the cash would be :moneybag: :moneybag: :moneybag:

so I decide I’ll at least write the cover letter. the prompt was, basically, “what is a product you’ve worked on that makes you grin ear to ear?” I write about how I don’t think working on commercial products really makes anyone grin ear to ear. who ACTUALLY finds delight in slightly improving a purchase flow who isn’t just a LinkedIn sociopath?? I don’t think I’ll get the gig. but it did revive in me a certain sense of ego. I do actually know how to do a lot of shit, I’m just contrarian about doing it for money.

Blank Check is covering John Carpenter, and I’m watching Dark Star to follow along. I’ve never seen it, as much as I like John Carpenter and Dan O’Bannon. so far it’s strange and cheap, oddly lit and tonally unsettling. but it is, strangely, delightful. the soundtrack makes me laugh even before the writing does. and it feels possible, watching it, to make a small thing with nothing, and make bigger things later.

I was telling a friend recently that all you really have to do is make a weird thing and finish it. just doing that is well ahead of the race. but it’s easy to lose sight of that in my own work. seeing it in Dark Star, I can feel it again, how easy it is just to make a weird thing and finish it.

so up next, finishing this script.